Friday, August 24, 2012

Something in a Different Strain....

This is a blog post of a more serious nature. The following caught my attention the other day so I thought I'd share it.

While pregnant I had a lot of couch time. I started reading blogs for the first time and found a few fun pregnancy blogs to follow. Now that I'm on the other side of pregnancy, however, I started looking for a blog from a new Mom's perspective. Blogs of good quality are a lot harder to come by under this heading. As much as people have to say about the million things you can't do while pregnant, they are even more so concerning how to raise a child.

I came across a blog divulging a revolutionary discovery that the disciplinary method of time outs is now outdated. This article by Dr Peter Haiman was linked; I'll sum it up so you don't have to read it. Basically Dr. Peter hypothesizes that the reason for misbehavior is that the child's needs are not being met - misbehavior (note the wording) is merely a symptom - the disease being unmet wants, the cure is to meet those wants. Time outs (or any other discipline for that matter) does not cure the disease and only makes it worse, causing more misbehavior and frustration. He says, "Parents can develop a well-behaved, self-disciplined child best by responsively and continuously meeting their child's developmentally normal needs and drives."

Now I'm not pretending to be the expert on child raising. Olivia is only two months old so my experience is pretty much nil. Yet it doesn't take any experience to see the flaw here. Since when were humans good when all their "needs and drives" were met? This theory of child raising shows a complete lack of understanding about human nature. I have a hard time seeing how someone who actually lives with a kid (or even sees one close up occasionally) could hold to this idea even for a minute! I did a little research on this Dr. Haiman to see his qualifications. I could find nothing to show he had any kids of his own. Apparently his qualifications are taking classes and earning the title doctor as well as 25 years of counseling and testifying in court rooms concerning divorce cases and such. So very qualified.

I did find several other blogs that linked this same article. (One blatantly defined disobedience as "an adult judgement of a child's action that is contrary to what the adult expects.")

Just think bout it. A generation of kids believing anything wrong they might ever do is a result of not having a need or drive met correctly.

Kinda scary.

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